Disenchantment

"The big damage of the nostalgia...is that it dries out the energy for meaningful change." - Bulgarian sociologist Vladimir Shopov in the online portal BG History.

Light and Dark

“Why would you take such great risk for me?” I whispered, not expecting any answer, but he did answer:
“Because love is also a power. A great power, and it should not be disdained.”

- Quote from The Day Watch by Sergei Lukyanenko.


While I like the quote, don’t let it fool you into thinking it’s about a love story. The quote is taken from the second volume of The Night Watch trilogy which constantly explores the debate of good and bad, light and dark. It questions your faith in humanity and makes you doubt your moral compass.

The story of Orpheus and Eurydice

Ever heard of the story of Orpheus and Eurydice? According to Greek mythology, Orpheus and Eurydice were a happy couple but tragedy struck on their wedding day when Eurydice died after being bitten by a poisonous snake. Unable to bear his grief at losing Eurydice, Orpheus decided to go to the Underworld to ask for Eurydice’s return to the world above from Hades. One couldn’t simple walk into the Underworld what with the river Styx to cross and the three-headed canine Cerberus to deal with, but due to his skill in playing the lute, Orpheus succeeded in reaching Hades. After imploring to the king of the Underworld, Hades finally agrees. He told Orpheus to return to the world of the living and that Eurydice would be following him from behind. He told Orpheus not to look behind as he left the Underworld, or Eurydice will be lost to him. Orpheus agreed and began to leave the Underworld. He could hear Eurydice following him from behind and his heart leapt. Then doubt stirred in his mind as he wondered if Eurydice would still look the same, perhaps she might look pale and wan instead. In a moment of carelessness, he looked behind and like Hades said, Eurydice was lost to him. He returned alone to the world of living and spent his days in sorrow. When he died however, he was reunited with Eurydice and together they lived happily in the Elysian fields of the Underworld.

The story doesn’t quite relate to my situation; it has a myriad of lessons ranging from how you should not meddle in the will of the gods to if you truly love someone, looks shouldn’t matter and all that, but I would always remember it whenever I feel like going back (to the past). One should never forget the past but neither should one dwell on it. One should keep moving forward and not look back, like Orpheus did.

たいせす な きおく

First an old colleague rekindled old memories when he asked about futsal. Then Geocities had to close down. I had known about it for a few months already but I only saved my files a last week. I would usually save my entries into a text file on my PC before uploading, so I thought I had already backed up all my files. But no, when I checked I discovered I didn’t have some of the earlier ones. So I quickly raced against time to save the files, or so I thought. When I checked on October 26th, Geocities was still up. It only closed around the 27th or 28th, I think. Maybe they were giving people time to say goodbye to what was most probably their first websites.
It was mine too. Looking through the old entries again, there were good and not-so-good times but I realised that those were precious memories nonetheless, and I couldn’t bear if I had lost them forever. Some memories are priceless but sometimes your mind forgets them anyways. Of course you haven't completely forgotten those memories, but it would take a while for something to trigger those memories again and who knows when that may be. When you've written them down, you can revisit them anytime you want. I’m glad I had the foresight to write about them. Even so, reading what happened the last few years, unleashed a flood of happy moments, which unfortunately, outshines the present.