Missing the wolf moon

 Today the morning sky is clear,

But the moon is not here.

Venus

 I see fireworks, as Venus hangs low on the horizon.

Canopus

She glanced up and searched the night sky. A solitary star twinkled in the southern part of the heavens. She smiled and said, "Canopus, I see you."

Smile

Smile (Glee Cast Version) - Cover of Charlie Chaplin Song 

Music by Charles Chaplin, Lyrics by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons

Smile, though your heart is aching 

Smile, even though it’s breaking 

When there are clouds in the sky 

You’ll get by 

If you smile through your pain and sorrow 

Smile and maybe tomorrow 

You’ll see the sun come shining through 

For you... 

Light up your face with gladness 

Hide every trace of sadness 

Although a tear may be ever so near 

That’s the time you must keep on trying 

Smile what’s the use of crying 

You’ll find that life is still worthwhile 

If you just...SMILE 

That's the time you must keep on trying 

Smile what's the use of crying 

You’ll find that life is still worthwhile 

If you just... SMILE 

Smile, though your heart is aching 

Smile, even though it’s breaking 

When there are clouds in the sky 

That’s the time you must keep on trying 

Smile what’s the use of crying 

You’ll find that life is still worthwhile 

If you just...SMILE 

You’ll find that life is still worthwhile 

If you just... Smile... 

Smile

Lyrics by Musixmatch

Pandemic Watch - Hwarang

"You can catch ten thieves hiding in the mountain, but you can't catch the one thief in your heart." -  Sam Maek-Jong 

Introduction

 

Image source

First impression — 2016

When Hwarang first came out in 2016, I watched the first episode but did not finish the entire season. I think it was partly due to my ignorance of Hwarang’s historical background and the fact that I thought the producers of the K-drama came up with the idea as an excuse to bring together a group of handsome actors and singers in one show. On hindsight, even if that were the case, that should have been okay too. I mean I did watch Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo that year :P

Second impression — 2020

Fast forward four years later and in the midst of the COVID-19 lockdown, as usual, I was channel surfing to see if there was anything interesting to watch. It so happened the KBS channel was showing the first episode of Hwarang and perhaps out of boredom, I decided to check it out since I had watched it before. Strangely enough, I found the first episode intriguing enough when I watched it the second time. The disclaimer at the beginning of the episode must have contributed to the experience as well: “This drama is a work of fiction based on real facts of Hwarang in the era of King Jinheung of Silla.” I had heard of Silla as one of the kingdoms of ancient Korea, so the fact that the drama is based on history made me curious.

I need to figure things out myself

The COVID-19 era we are all going through at the moment has made us yearn for the good old days without social distancing, various SOPs and travel restrictions. I'm sure I'm not the only one who seeks nostalgia for a less stressful time. I have been watching old K-dramas and sitcoms (some as old as 10 years back back to the ones that are more recent, like five years ago). Once there was nothing to watch, I searched for a book that would transport me to a magical place and this naturally meant Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings.

Umareru Negai (生まれる 願がい)

Performed by: Uta Airi
Fruits Basket 2019 Insert Song
Lyric credit: Alice

くらやみのなかをさまようあるいて
I wondered aimlessly in the dark

こきょうさえわつれていた
And even forgot how to breathe

いっぽうのみちじゃないって
Even though I know there’s not a single path

わかってもみょうことで
I could take, I still felt lost

どうまわりさいもなつすかしい
I miss the days of when I could still go for a detour

だれもがおもいえなくしあわせにみるれなくて
Everyone wishes to be touched

なみだしては、またすすんでいく
While crying, I’ll continue to move forward

やさしいそのことばで
The words of kindness

ここらがあたたかくて
That makes your heart feel warm

かんじてるよ
I can feel it

ひとりじゃないこと
That I am not alone



ちっぽうけなせかいまどのむこうにわ
Beyond the small, window of the world

ひかりがひろがっていた
Light is pouring out

こんなんをのりこえて
Overcoming the difficulties and then

えがおにかえていける
Turning into something you can smile about

そんあきみにあえてうれしい
I’m glad I met that kind you

うまれるねがいのなか
Inside this wish that’s been born

かがやきをますすえき
An even brighter future is waiting

みにくいかんじょうも
Even the ugly feelings

ほらきえていく
Are disappearing, you see?

このてにみちびかれて
That hand that guided me to reach

たどりついたこたえば
The answer I was looking for

しんじられる
I’ll believe in it

どこにもいかないと
That even I “can go anywhere”



なんかいもなんかいもしゅっぱいしたって
Failing over and over again

どれもぜんぶたいせつなおもいで
Even those were precious memories

だいじょうぶそれそれのしあわせがまってるから
It’s okay, because a whole lot of happiness is waiting out there

ここからまたはじまる
I’ll start all over again from there

だれもがねがいいえなくしあわせにふれたくて
Everyone wishes to be touched by the kind of happiness they hope to feel

なみだしては、またすすんでいく
Even as they cry, they’ll keep moving forward once again

やさしいそのことばで
Your kind words that

ここらがあたたかくて
Can’t help but warm my heart

かんじてるよ
I can clearly feel it

ひとりじゃないこと
That I’m no longer alone.

Ever the stargazer

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash.

Photo is for illustration purpose only.

I actually woke up (on my own) at 5.33am today. I had set my alarm at 5.40am to wake up to see the Lyrid meteor shower but in the middle of the night I figured I might not wake up early. Since I was up, I played with my phone for a while and then went to the see the night sky from the vicinity of the study room. The sky was cloudy at the bottom part close to the horizon but the upper-middle part was clear. I did not see any meteors no matter how hard I strained my eyes but I did see some planets and stars.

Little Forest

Source: IMDB.

I came across this Korean movie as I was channel surfing. The synopsis said something about nature's power to heal. The story seemed to be about a young woman who returned to her mom's hometown which is a village in the Korean countryside. The sight of rice fields, mountains and forests instantly took me back to Minamiuonuma, the small Japanese town I resided in for two years when I did my postgraduate course.  

Pre-Halloween Scare

Photo by Bekir Dönmez on Unsplash

Sometimes we scare ourselves by seeing things that aren't there. Or sometimes, we are scared by the lack of a crowd. This applies to me, particularly in a new parking spot.

In the middle of this week, instead of driving to my usual MRT parking spot, I decided to park at the one in Bandar Utama. I had planned to meet up with former college mates there the next day and thought I could save time on traffic by taking the train straight from my office to 1Utama. The rush hour jam is particularly bad these days because its usually exacerbated by evening thunderstorms.

Remembering Sulli

Photo credit: SBS

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw #RIPSulli trending on Twitter on Tuesday. I thought it must be some kind of a sick joke or prank. Sadly, it wasn't. Former f(x) member Sulli passed away on Monday, 14 October 2019, from apparent suicide.

From reading the tweets by her fans, it seemed like she was a victim of cyber bullying. I really could not fathom how people would want to direct mean comments to someone as sweet as Sulli. Of course I don't know her personally but I did watch her on variety shows and listened to some of f(x)'s music (being the nerd that I am, I like the band's name, f(x)). From what I had seen of Sulli, she seemed like a genuine, cheerful, playful girl with a hint of tomboyishness. She was not quite the typical feminine K-pop princess, which is what I liked about her.

Cleanliness and Kindness

Photo by Rodion Kutsaev on Unsplash

I work in a what you might call a fancy around 30-storey building in the city centre. You would expect smart, educated, courteous people to work here. By and large they are but there is one aspect I find totally lacking amongst the people who work here (or at least, those that work on the same floor as me): washroom etiquette. I'm sure it doesn't apply to everyone on my floor but there are enough of them that cause real distress and inconvenience.

How The Dark Crystal Resonated with Me

Warning: Spoilers ahead for The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance.

Netflix's The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance has been described as dark high-fantasy, which would of course appeal to me as a long-time fantasy fan. How I stumbled upon it was because I had just completed the final season of HBO's Game of Thrones. Even though season 8 of GOT went on-air way back in April, I didn't watch it then because I felt my life was already dark at that point. I finally summed up my courage to watch GOT in August. After finishing it, I felt like I wanted to remain in the fantasy realm and was looking for something like GOT or some other fantasy-related media to delve into. The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance appeared at the right time in my Netflix timeline.

For Whom the Bell Tolls

Since I was a kid, I used to read a lot of fairy tales and as I got older, naturally made the transition to fantasy novels. I used to read The Lord of the Rings every year during my university days. I thoroughly enjoyed the Valdemar series, Wheel of Time series (unfinished, only reached #10), Song of Ice and Fire series, Harry Potter series and so on. I generally avoided fiction as well as self-help books. I started to read outside my comfort zone around a decade ago. The fiction novels that impressed me were Cloud Atlas, 1Q84 and The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet.

In recent years, I started to read the literary classics including To Kill a Mockingbird, The Outsider, Fahrenheit 451 and The Jungle Book (finally!). I still like fantasy novels but I couldn't find any along the lines of Harry Potter or the Lord of the Rings recently. I like my fantasy novels to have adventure, magic, comedy, magical creatures, heroism, epicness and without any overtly sexual content. I don't like it if the story is too dark either. So yeah, my criteria for a fantasy novel is pretty high.

When darkness runs out of fuel...

This post is in relation to my post titled "Release" (October 15, 2018).

In the end, I did not shatter the friendship. I did go on silent mode for a few weeks but I ultimately started to respond again. It may seem like I'm backtracking from what I had intended to do but that's not quite what it is. It wasn't because I couldn't do it, it was because there was no longer a reason to do it. Months after the series of incidences that had troubled me thus far, I no longer felt the anger and bitterness I used to feel. It seems that the darkness that used to swirl within me has run out of fuel. Of course, there is still a small marble-sized ball of sadness caused by the end of a close friendship but I could still continue being not-so-close friends without any sense of it being forced.

This is partly due to a quote I heard from my mom, whom in turn, heard it from her best friend (translated): "Let others be mean to us, just don't let it be us who are mean to others."

Release

It was long overdue but it was time to let go.

I could no longer keep up the charade of friendship when the people in the group possessed empathy only for themselves and others like themselves. I could no longer extend empathy to people who did not extend any empathy to me, whether it was through lack of awareness or whatever other reasons they had. Initially, I did not want to shatter the camaraderie that we supposedly had. If I did, it would feel like I broke something special.
It was getting too burdensome to pretend everything was okay for the sake of protecting the group but I was forgetting one crucial fact: it was never real. In a true friendship, people understood each other and supported each other through the good and bad times. Once you got to know each other better, you would not pull back after discovering the issues the other person had. You would try to help that person and not be afraid of difficult conversations. You would help your friend in need, especially if that friend had helped you countless of times before. To sum it up, I could not break something that wasn't real and therefore, should not feel bad about "breaking" it.

Whatever "it" was, I should have no qualms about leaving it behind and just move on.

Recap#4: Spring in IUJ (2018)

The end of the winter break was the last week of March but it coincided with our theses' final draft deadline. I think I wrote the bulk of my thesis during the month of March haha. It was kinda depressing working on our thesis during the break while the first years and some of the second years who had already finished their thesis went travelling. Some of us didn't emerge from our rooms for days. I thought I wanted to go sakura viewing in Kyoto during the first week of April and booked a hotel. The only condition for me to go was that I was satisfied with my thesis progress. In the end I wasn't, so I didn't go to Kyoto and forgot to cancel the hotel booking before the deadline :(

Recap#3: Winter in IUJ (2017/2018)

The winter seemed to have come early but I think I was prepared. After all, I already had my winter jacket and mobile heater. My friends who went on exchange were back and it was nice to have them back. The first day I came back, we had movie night that night. I decided to sit at the back since I was sleepy. I think we watched Bad Genius. It was good to be back.

Recap#2: Autumn in IUJ (2017)

The new term was not as depressing as it was for me last year. I wasn't homesick but some of my close friends were away on exchange so it felt a little different. It was still okay because I got to know my other friends better. I took only two subjects this term and enjoyed both of them. One of the subjects was closely related to my thesis topic of climate change.

Recap#1: Summer in IUJ (2017)

My last IUJ recap was for the 2016/2017 academic year. I will now recap the summer break that took place after.

I went back home for Raya celebrations and it was nice to be able to celebrate with my family and friends. It did mean however, that I missed the Class of 2017's graduation ceremony. Being back was nice and I know I ate a lot. I spent around a month at home and then returned to IUJ in August to start my stint as a facilitator for the Intensive English Programme. It was not too bad but I do think that I lack superb people skill that would make it easier for me. One good thing about returning to IUJ early (apart from the money earned from being facilitator) was getting to spend time with my friends who would finish their course in August. These were the people that took 1-year courses such as E-biz and International MBA.